Easier

Generally this blog is just about the label, so I’ll let you know that today I sent four 5in5 EPs off to Spotify with a need to do all the stuff for promotion & proper release on Silber at an undisclosed time.

Meanwhile it’s easier to put some things down in this than to actually talk about it.  It’s October.  Which is still a rough month for me even though my grandmother died in an October 7 years ago now.  Having a kid, the quilt my grandmother made me when I was a teenager is quickly turning into a rag & it feels indicative of all reality.  The years of my life I put so many things on hold so I could take care of my grandmother are drifting away like they never even happened & it feels the same about most things.  The feeling of uselessness, not having made the world a better place & maybe in some ways making it a worse place is overwhelming.  I don’t think I’m unique at all in that regard, though maybe my level of recognition of it is unhealthy.  It’s been pushing me into this spot that I occasionally fall into where it feels like my time on Earth is coming to an end & I need to get my things in order.  This time out I got a life insurance policy just in case & it gives me a certain piece of mind, but I really don’t know what the point of anything else is & I feel I’ve lost a lot of the ability to have joy or pride over things.  That said, I’m still trying.  Trying to push my way through.  Trying to work more so there’s less time to dwell on things.  We’ll see how it all goes, hopefully this oppressive spirit leaves before it becomes to noticeable to the outside world.  Thanks for letting me share.

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