I fall down when
I’m trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night & I remember
half my leg is gone. I’ve always kind of thought of myself as pathetic
& useless & a waste of skin, but now it’s a pretty undeniable fact.
My brother took my guns away so I can’t shoot myself in the head, which
would be the appropriate thing to do. I’m just consuming instead
of doing anything of use to anyone. I’m more useless than the children
here are. At least kids provide some kind of hope for the future.
Maybe I should just start drinking my feelings away like I used to whenever
some girl broke my heart.