So I commonly walk around saying, “I’ve got ten fingers & ten toes & access to clean water; I have nothing to complain about.” Today when I was walking around the lake I saw this dude who’s arms were coated in scar tissue & didn’t have any fingers that were more than a single joint long. It fucked with my head. It reminded me of the episode of X-Files where Mulder talks about if he’d lost a leg he’d have something legitimate to fixate on & probably be a better person for it (at least that’s my memory of what he said, my memory tends to err towards things that are more interesting to me). It makes me feel fairly blessed in life, which is a good thing.
This morning in my inbox was an email of interview questions for a local arts webzine. It makes me feel a little good about things. Though doing the upbeat thing for the interview was a bit difficult.
Last Night’s Dream:
I go with Karla to her parents’ church, when her mother sees us there she comes up to me & kisses me on the mouth & says she’s so glad I brought her daughter back to her, but it feels both false & inappropriate. The communion portion of the service is not like any I’ve seen before, they pass the bread around for everyone to individually say a silent blessing over & then begin distributing it in the front of the church. While people are waiting to get communion, Karla asks me to go with her to the bathroom to make out & I tell her no, that people will notice. Somehow she manages to take my shirt off without me noticing & hides it somewhere. All I wanted to do was blend in.