Departure (short story)

I wake up at 4 in the morning.  It’s my last night in the same bed as her.  I can’t go back to sleep, so I get up & drink two beers while looking out the windows I’ll never look out again.  There’s a tall old man wandering around a construction site as security.  There’s a woman waiting for a bus eventually joined by two other women, but I go back to bed before the bus comes.  I half hope to wake her as I get back in the bed.  That she’ll either want to have sex with me or tell me she loves me, but for once in my life I either don’t wake her or she pretends I don’t.  I lay my right hand on her side & pray to God to heal her, to take care of her & watch over her since I won’t be able to anymore.  She was always a damsel in distress, but she didn’t want to let me save her.  She doesn’t want to be saved.  I understand.  Owning a debt you can never repay is hard.  Changing is even harder.  I thought that while broken apart, we could be whole if we were together.  I was wrong.  I’m always wrong.  God, please watch over her.